#hi everyone happy destiel day to all who celebrate

[sosaysdean]

be my unholy my one and my lonely

[fujihelexicon]

my father and I both celebrate November 5th in much the same way that the Pagans and Christians concern themselves with December 25th.

By which I mean my father is following along in the ancient tradition (he's an Australian man who is hyperfixated on US politics, and has been for many years; happy US election day, please vote, my US friends) and I have bastardised his sacred holiday (merry Destiel-Putin-Election day, everyone, and to all a good 'and here comes Nevada, Georgia, and Pennsylvania with a steel chair')

[typicalopposite]

Well it’s that time again… and I am still in the steady sinking boat of getting a whole lotta NO writing done 😂😭 on the flip side tho I have had a sudden interest in my SPN wips again! And uh… one more thing about these sentences… they are all new… like I just wrote them today 😂😂 SO! I give you some NEW sentences from several separate fics! And although this is typed all I hear is Sir Pentious (hello new Hazbin Hotel fixation) 😂

Thank you as always to @hgejfmw-hgejhsf for tagging me 💕 (and also to @onthewaytosomewhere and @taste-thewaste for the WIP Wednesday tags even though I didn’t get to them!) you guys keep me motivated to get these moving 😭💕

1. (David’s Purpose- New David fic based on that movie where King Arthur resurrects into a dog’s body 😀) It really only seemed as if he’d blinked; one second he was looking at the saddened faces of his family gathered around his withering body, and the next his eyes crack open — but only slightly — to a darkened room, and the soft sounds of puppies whimpering.

2. (Untitled — Alex has Premonitions — Fic) He saw Henry — dressed far too formally for the party in a suit with a deep orange tie — he heard his deep infectious laugh; saw his big bright smile; heard his soft voice call him ‘as thick as it gets’; felt hands grasp his face, lips press against his own… then realized he was still sitting in his room waiting for Nora to finish getting ready.

3. (Kiss the Angel- The Little Mermaid themed Destiel fic) “I’m sorry,” the Empty repeated, clearer this time. “It’s just- I don’t know what’s funnier… the idea of you actually thinking you’re right; or the completely impractical idea of ‘what if’ you were right, and Castiel forced happiness on himself when he could have had the real thing.”

4. (Happy Birthday To Me! 5+1 times of Henry celebrating his birthday fic) Henry holds back tears as he looks down at the lopsided cake; Happy Birthday Daddy written out over the top in green icing.

5. (Rewrite the Stars- Henry Amnesia fic) “I don’t bloody care who you are, I want to see my husband!” Alex’s head snaps towards Henry’s room; that was Henry’s voice he realizes, and is up and rushing towards the commotion without a second thought.

6. (Desperado- post canon Desitel fix it fic) The motel is cheap and shabby; so reminiscent of the old days that it actually gives him an odd sense of belonging to be there. He sighs as he lays himself out on the lumpy mattress, half hoping he doesn’t wake to bed bug bites, half hoping he does… if only just to feel something again.

There you have it! Gonna leave this tag open since it’s so late! 💕 gonna go read everyone’s sentences now!! 💕💕

[mittensmorgul]

all the time in the world

1289 words | rated T | destiel anniversary fluff

summary:

In the aftermath of the events of one working part, Dean and Cas take a road trip. Neither of them really wants it to end. And they realize it doesn't really have to.

It's been 15 years, and about time they got to celebrate! This is technically coda fic for one working part, but you don't need to read that to enjoy this little snippet of fluff.

read it on ao3, or below the cut

The morning after Cas came back, Dean just drove. The reality of their new lives had really begun to sink in. As they headed toward the bunker, after stopping for lunch at a Kansas City style barbecue place, Dean decided to use their self-appointed time off to introduce Cas to the wide variety of barbecue the vast and varied United States had to offer.

“It won’t take long to detour to Memphis,” Dean had said while they were still at the table. “Beale Street, home of the blues and pork ribs. You’ll love it.”

“But we just ate barbecue, Dean,” Cas replied. “Is it really necessary to drive across three states for more? Isn’t this sufficient?”

Dean looked at Cas in horror for a second, and then shook his head slowly. “See, this is why we need a barbecue road trip. Gotta train up those new human taste buds. I can’t have you spending the rest of your life thinking all barbecue is the same.”

Cas had reluctantly accepted that. Mostly he was just glad to be with Dean, no matter what they were doing. And the idea of a long road trip just for fun, not running into danger or looking for things to hunt or fighting against cosmic forces sounded pleasant, regardless of what they were doing. He also admitted that first barbecue dinner had been delicious, and he wouldn’t mind having it again. He looked across the table at Dean, and smiled.

“Thank you, Dean. Of course I’m happy to go wherever you’d like to take me.”

Dean had gone all pink and flustered across the table at that, and that was also something Cas didn’t mind in the least. In a matter of days he’d gone from firmly believing that he could never have what he truly wanted to being given more than he’d ever even dared to hope for. Not just Dean, but an end to the constant struggle to stay ahead of the forces intent on destroying the universe. For the first time in his long existence, he had time. Time to explore and enjoy the creation he’d stood above for eons, to partake of its wonders instead of invisibly standing guard over them. And Dean was eager and overjoyed to share it all with him.

After Memphis, Dean insisted they needed to head to North Carolina. They swung down through Louisiana and into Texas toward the end of the week. Over brisket while a local band played outside a brewery in the hill country outside Austin, Dean sat staring off into the distance at another group of people smiling and laughing together.

“Is something wrong, Dean?” Cas asked after a few minutes. “You’re not finishing your lunch.”

Dean shook himself off and gave Cas a warm smile. “I was just thinking we should probably be heading home soon.”

Cas nodded at this. “Yes. This has been fun and enlightening, but Sam might be starting to worry about us.”

Dean laughed. “Maybe. But I’m also thinking some of your returned souls might start showing up. Don’t wanna leave the homestead all locked up if anyone needs a refuge, you know?”

“Possibly,” Cas replied.

They’d already heard from Rowena and Crowley, who’d both eagerly taken the deal Cas's spell had offered them. Dean had been worried the two of them would just end up killing each other again, but apparently they’d instead decided to go into business together. So far he’d been reluctant to discover exactly what sort of business the two of them would concoct together, but at least he wasn’t worried about having to clean up another messy murder scene at Rowena’s place. He didn’t necessarily expect to hear from anyone else, but everyone who might reach out already knew where they lived. As long as Sam was there, at least they’d find a warm welcome. Something else was bothering Dean.

“Are you already bored of traveling with me?” he joked, hoping to lighten Dean’s mood.

“What? Never!” Dean insisted, reaching across the table to rest a hand on Cas’s. He stared down at their impulsively joined hands and slowly looked up to Cas’s warm smile with one of his own. “It’s just… it’s almost our anniversary, you know? The day we met, the day you pulled me outta Hell. Kinda feels like we should do something special.”

Cas frowned at that. “Anniversary? I never really thought about it like that before.”

“Yeah, well there’s always been a lot of other shit going on. Even after I started liking you enough to stop thinking of it as the day I had to dig myself out of my own grave and started thinking of it as the day we met, there was never really much time to stop and grab a Hallmark card about it. I just figured, we got time for celebrating stuff like that now.”

“That sounds lovely, Dean,” Cas replied, grateful to know that nothing was truly bothering Dean. He wasn’t actually upset about anything, but he still looked as confused as Cas felt. “What do people even do to celebrate that sort of thing?”

“What,” Dean replied absently. “Rescuing some dude from Hell? I don’t think a lot of other people got that sort of anniversary to celebrate.”

Cas grinned. “That’s true, but people celebrate many similar annual events.”

Dean finished off his brisket and then stood up with Cas to walk back to the car. They weren’t in a hurry, but they were ready to move on again. As they headed out on the road, Dean gave Cas a considering look.

“We could take another road trip. There’s a lot of other important human knowledge we gotta explore.”

Cas considered that for a moment, and then remembered where he’d first met Dean face to face. It seemed as logical a destination as any for an anniversary road trip.

“We could go to Pontiac, Illinois. The barn where you met me is still standing. Or was, a few months ago when I last checked on it.”

Dean turned to look at him so fast the car jolted to the side before he managed to correct it. “Dude, you checked on it?”

Cas gave a little shrug, wondering if maybe he’d overstepped some sort of boundary he hadn’t known existed. Maybe he needed to justify his actions to Dean.

“I used to visit there frequently. When I could still fly, it was a safe sanctuary. You warded it very well against almost everything other than angels. And after I fell and became human, I added more warding. It’s hidden from almost everyone and everything else, except for us. I made sure that you’d always be able to find it again, too. If you ever felt the need for a sanctuary.”

“What?” Dean asked, genuinely surprised by all of this. “You turned the place I stabbed you in the heart into a safe space?”

Cas shrugged. “It seemed metaphorically appropriate at the time.”

Dean reached across the seat and took his hand, squeezing it tight. He was clearly overcome with emotions that Cas was just beginning to understand. He squeezed back and smiled as Dean took a few deep breaths, intently focused on the road. Eventually, Dean cleared his throat, and then smiled at him.

“You know, we did the barbecue tour. We should probably do a pizza tour. Chicago’s not far from Pontiac, and you gotta try a deep dish.”

Cas smiled back, relieved, and let Dean deflect his feelings for the time being. They’d have plenty of time to talk through all their emotions. He could let Dean plan it all for the future for now. 

“That sounds wonderful, Dean,” he replied. Because they had time for everything now.

(ao3 link again for anyone who wants it!)

[hekate1308]

And That Special Quiet On Christmas Morn, A Destiel Advent Calendar December 3

Read it on AO3

Masterpost

Logically, Dean knew that the painting had not saved his life. It was idiotic to think that it had somehow thrown itself down just so he wouldn’t touch the saw at that moment. But somehow, he couldn’t help but feel that this was exactly what had happened.

He didn’t tell anyone, of course – well, apart from the thing with the ceiling, which he came to regret when the next day, Crowley showed up with a workman, had him fix it, check the entire rest of Dean’s roof and refused to even tell him how much this had cost because he had decided Dean was not to pay a penny.

It was one of those spontaneous acts of generosity that Crowley, when thanked or even just spoken to about them, always denied, claiming he was a heartless bastard, despite everyone who had ever grown close to him knowing better. And Dean, from experience, knew something else – he would never find out how much he had paid, and Crowley would consider it an insult if he tried. So he resigned himself to his repaired roof but swore that on his next birthday, Crowley would get a wonderfully crafted present that he could not refuse.

At least this meant that his workshop could go back to normal right away, and it also led to Dean hanging up the painting again, at the same spot, but being very careful about it. Despite the part of him that continued to insist it would have fallen regardless just to help him, his rational thoughts reminded him that he should take better care lest it got harmed if it fell again.

All in all, whether his crazy theory was true – which it wasn’t, he reminded himself – Dean was most definitely grateful that he had purchased the painting now. He wouldn’t have liked to imagine what could have happened, or who would have found him – Sammy was known to drop by in the evening, or what if it had been Crowley or Charlie or Benny or Aaron or –

It was most definitely not fun to imagine, so he rather decided to think about something else.

After all, it was time to prepare for his small stand at the Christmas market. He’d been unsure if he even wanted to try a couple of years back, but Sam had been adamant, and he’d been right – the small trinkets and toys he made throughout the year when business was slow or he was bored had proven to be some of his best-selling products, and he had come to enjoy working the stand very much. It was something different to do than stand in his workshop all day which, much as he loved it, could grow a little monotonous, and it got him into contact with people – for example he’d met Aaron because he’d been looking for Christmas presents that weren’t too overtly Christian due to his own faith.

And so, he began making his inventory and a list of things he’d need, whistling to himself as he did so. He really did love Christmas, even if the holidays hadn’t been too much fun back when they were kids, despite his best efforts. Nowadays though, they always made sure to celebrate with as many of their friends as they could.

He glanced at the painting from time to time; he couldn’t help it. Ever since the incident, he’d begun wondering if the man had just sprung from some artist’s imagination or if there had been a model, and if so, what he’d been like. There had been little to no information the auction house could give them, which Sam had disputed because provenience was important (again showing off that art course) but Dean had simply been so happy that he had managed to get the painting that he had not cared at that moment. Now, though, it was another story entirely…

Not that there was a reason for it, he reminded himself. It had been a freak coincidence, he had gotten lucky, the big guy up in the sky had decided he got to live another day. Nothing more to it.

If only he could have made himself believe that.

Anyway, the painting was back to where it belonged, he was getting ready for Christmas time, and he hadn’t electrocuted himself. All good things in his book.

And then, that very evening, it happened.

He now knew exactly what he’d have to purchase, what he’d stock his stand with, and how he would handle his shop in the meantime, and had made himself hot chocolate to celebrate. He’d gone back to his workshop one more time just to make sure Crowley’s guy had done good work (of course he had) when he heard the voice.

“I am glad your roof is fixed now.”

[imbiowaresbitch]

Lucky Green

Pairing: Destiel

Rating: Explicit

Words: 4674

Summary:

It's St. Patrick's Day, and roommates Dean and Cas head out to their local pub to celebrate with their friends. A chance encounter with Cas' ex-boyfriend leaves him desperate, and he drags Dean into a kiss for cover.

But is that all it is?

~~

Excerpt:

Dean pulled on his t-shirt, grinning down at his chest. The shirt was solid black, with white lettering that proclaimed, "I get pinched, you get punched." He was actually wearing green, but he wasn't about to flash people to prove it. He quickly styled his hair and pulled on a worn pair of torn button-fly jeans, the denim soft from years of abuse.

Leaving his room, he tripped over his roommate, Cas, who was towelling his dark hair as he headed for his room. Dean caught Cas' arms as they collided, his heart hammering as Cas stumbled against his chest. Cas' eyes met his, wide and so blue, his face endearingly flushed.

Dean couldn't help it. His eyes dropped to follow several droplets of water as they trickled down Cas' golden skin. Dean licked his lips unconsciously, and Cas' eyes dropped to his mouth. They stood there, frozen for a long moment. Dean had finally decided this was it; this was when he was finally going to make a move, when his phone rang in his pocket.

Cas jumped, startled by the awkward bellowing of a bull moose. Dean cursed, hauling his phone from his pocket, and Cas slipped away down the hall.

"What, bitch?" Dean griped when he answered the phone, watching as Cas turned into his own bedroom and shut the door.

"Okay, what's got your panties in a twist?" Sam asked, and Dean felt his face flush.

"Nothing. You about ready to go?"

"Why do you think I'm calling, jerk?"

Dean rolled his eyes at his brother's sarcasm. He only had himself to blame. He'd basically raised the kid.

"Alright, meeting at Murphy's in twenty, then?" Dean asked, and Sam quickly agreed. Murphy's was an Irish pub more or less halfway between their apartments, easily within walking distance for everyone. Dean pocketed his phone and headed back down the hall to Cas' door. Tapping his knuckle against it, he called out. "Leavin' in ten to walk down, you gonna be ready?"

"Yeah!" Cas replied, and Dean turned away. He quickly went to the bathroom and brushed his teeth, then went to the front hall to get his boots. He knelt and quickly laced them, grabbing his leather jacket and slinging it on.

Cas appeared a minute later, wearing a bright green t-shirt that said "I'm Irish, but don't kiss me" across his chest, which Dean thought was highly unfair. Because he desperately wanted to.

Though he supposed it was better than watching anyone else kiss Cas, so he wasn't going to object. That happened a couple years ago, and Dean had left the bar early rather than stay and watch Cas make out with someone. Later, when Sammy asked, he'd said he'd hooked up with a chick and ducked out. In truth, he'd walked halfway across town to find a deafeningly loud bar and gotten shitfaced.

Tonight though… Dean let his eyes rove over Cas, the dark hair mussed from his fingers, held in dishevelled little spikes with mousse, his blue eyes bright with happiness, and Dean promised himself he'd say something. He had to say something 'cause he was going crazy going on like this.

~~

Read the rest on AO3.

Thanks to @nickelkeep for the beta!

[bexfangirlforlife]

Ich habe 14.264 Mal im Jahr 2022 etwas gepostet

Das sind 4.312 more posts als 2021!

506 Einträge erstellt (4%)

13.758 Einträge gerebloggt (96%)

Blogs, die ich am häufigsten gerebloggt habe:

@fellshish

@sailorsally

@deanandkastiel

@inacatastrophicmind

@sheepstiel

Ich habe 11.420 meiner Einträge im Jahr 2022 getaggt

Nur 20% meiner Einträge hatten keine Tags

#misha collins – 1.184 Einträge

#destiel – 1.114 Einträge

#jensen ackles – 879 Einträge

#tatort saarbrücken – 683 Einträge

#spn – 570 Einträge

#destiel fanart – 457 Einträge

#dean winchester – 432 Einträge

#castiel – 346 Einträge

#fanart – 344 Einträge

#hds – 300 Einträge

Longest Tag: 139 characters

#yes (better than in school). not really (just random words). to quote jeremy bradshaw: 'noone speaks latin'... (but also know random words)

Meine Top-Einträge im Jahr 2022:

#5

Happy Nov 5th to all who celebrate.

102 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 5. November 2022

#4

Honestly this was the funniest part of the whole german commentary.

You need subtitles or audiodescription? No problem, we've got you. You can read where to find those on the screen right now.

124 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 15. Mai 2022

#3

Had to capture it in it's whole beauty...

301 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 24. Januar 2022

#2

Since Jensen talked about his first day on the Boys so much I've heard a lot of it before and also different ways he's said it, but I've never heard the tape one before (highlighted that part in the translation)... And because I think I didn't really wanna know this info, I have to put it here...

TV Spielfilm (german tv guide), nr 13- 2022

Translation:

Q: How was your first day on set, mr ackles? Did you get accepted immediately?

J.A.: It's funny, my character was frozen for many decades. I always say, I'm the new guy, who plays the guy, who has been there the longest. But the first day was memorable for me. When I came on set for the first time, it felt like I was a guest in someoneelses house. All nervousness was gone quickly, when I had to strip down on the first day in front of everyone. One says that one should imagine people being naked, when you're nervous, it was the other way around here.

K.U.: Unfortunately for Jensen it was a very cold day.

J.A.: That's true. I didn't even need a sock. They just put some duct tape over it.

339 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 15. Juni 2022

Meine #1 des Jahres 2022

Just saw this specific 'general trivia' while watching Supernatural on amazon prime...

... and now I can't stop thinking about how a casual spn watcher learns about the Mishapocalypse like that 😂

969 Anmerkungen – Gepostet 7. Juni 2022

Hol dir deinen Tumblr-Jahresrückblick 2022 →

[gaytedlasso]

hi for the love of god hello ✨

So I recently hit my 1k follower milestone and thought I’d do a little something to celebrate becoming a Supernatural blog in 2021 and that 1000 people have decided this decision was valid. I love you all and would not trade this last year for anything. 

Since I’m a content creator, what better way to party than a creator celebration! To make it even better, I’m planning this during my birthday weekend ~

To join the party, use the tag #justcastiel1k or mention me! 

Make whatever you like! Art, fics, amvs, edits, web weaving, poetry, anything! There will be three prompts per day. Feel free to interpret them however you want. Use just one or all three, doesn’t matter! The third prompt will be from a song, but you don’t need to use that song in your creation. 

January 13 - 16

Prompts

Jan 13: trueform/angel - falling/flying - “holy feeling”

Jan 14: cowboy - alone - “not dead yet”

Jan 15: young Dean - tattoos - “everything is temporary”

Jan 16: epilogue - faith - “where I belong”

Important notes! January 13th is my birthday! Also, while this is a celebration, I'd like it known that I LOVE angst. Fluff and happy posts are of course welcomed and cherished, but please do not hesitate to make me want to walk into the ocean. Literally daring you to do your worst. Or make soft domestic pieces, I'm completely happy either way lol ~

lawboy notes (rules)

nsfw content is welcome! just please tag it #lemon

you don’t have to follow me to participate!

I’m obviously a destiel fan, but I welcome other pairings and characters! 

no inc*st, non-con, or minor/adult pairings

nothing J*hn Winchester positive

Hope everyone has fun with this! Do not hesitate to dm me or send me an ask if you have any questions! 

Can’t wait to see what you come up with for these prompts. It’s a while out so there’s plenty of time lol. Will tag some beloved mutuals who may be interested in participating or could help spread the word.

[har-rison-s]

pray, do tell

request: If you don’t mind me asking, request for Loki asking the other Loki’s if they have a s/o in their timeline during episode 5?

a/n: hi ! i absolutely ADORE this idea and i hope i'll write it out respectfully :)) i loved episode 5 so much, except for SOME scenes, and i especially enjoyed multiple lokis sitting around and talking, chilling, that's like... my dream place to be. YOU DON'T KNOW THE EFFECT PRESIDENT LOKI HAS ON ME. like it should be studied in labs and schools cos ??????? that feeling when he's on screen was just something else. also ! kid loki holding alligator loki my beloved <3. i'd love to be surrounded by lokis, me and loki actually have the same personality type so they're like... my people. sorry for the rant, hahah ! this one is a bit shorter than my other loki works, sorry about that :/ also it took me like 40 minutes to find decent gifs lmao. happy reading !! <3

masterlist

mcu masterlist

warnings: nothing really

disclaimer: lokis mentioned have he/him pronouns !

Weirded out by what he's seeing, and not entirely sure it's real, Loki can't take his eyes off it, either. The way alligator Loki drinks his boxed wine is just so fascinating to him, yet weird and other-wordly (he knows those well) at the same time. And he's weirded out more by the fact that he doesn't find a variant of him being an alligator strange in any way. He's had a few trying days, as he said himself.

Loki manages to divert his eyes off the creature with horns on its head and looks to the grapes he holds in his hand. He picks small dirt away from the berries and takes a grape into his mouth with ease. The taste reminds him of many things. His childhood, his home, his family... Thor, Frigga, Odin, Sif and the Warriors Three. Asgard. The Gardens, the waters, the Bifrost. Heimdall. Visits to the city, the markets, the celebrations.

Love.

Loki blinks, fooling himself and others by aiming to portray that he's not thinking about anything important. But he is. She was the most important thing to him, and now... Well, maybe during the New York heist, she's still fine, but after Ragnarok... Loki fears too much to think about it.

He wishes he could remember everything with her that followed New York, but all he has of their future is some worn-out tape in the TVA archives. Perhaps even pictures... He wants to live through all they had now, he wishes he could do that most of all. Of course, there's the finding Mobius and helping Sylvie burn down the TVA thing, but upon remembering her, it all falls into the background.

His first love. Not a god, like him, but she was a goddess in his eyes. He smiles now, subtly, at the fond memories of her. He noticed the little moments he had with her in the tape Mobius had, about his whole future. How beautiful she always was, her subtle way of laughing and going about her smiles and giggles, how exceptional and different her clothes always were, how her hair shined in any light...

“Did any of you...” Loki starts to say, and sighs shortly before continuing, thinking he'll probably regret asking it, “did any of you leave a... a lover behind when the TVA arrested you? Prince or princess?” He looks between his variants. Young Loki shoots him a stern look. “Apologies, my liege. You seem too young for that.” Loki bids him a polite smile, but his brain whirs. “How long have you been here, anyway?”

“Don't know. Time doesn't really... exist here.” Young Loki says and throws a salt biscuit into alligator Loki's jaws. “But no lovers in my lifetime, Loki.” He pointedly looks at the older variant of himself, nodding slightly.

“Not yet, at least.” Loki points out and gets scoffs and chuckles from Boastful and Classic Loki. He looks at them with a furrowed brow.

“Oh, you and your grand plan,” Classic Loki shakes his head before taking another sip from his huge cup. Loki only rolls his eyes, but still waits for answers to his question, “well,” Classic Loki downs his drink, “it would be no surprise to you that I had countless partners before I chose isolation. Partners of any kind.” He winks. Loki nods, understanding how much alike he truly is with his variants. “But I feel there is no one truly... truly made for me. Like midgardians would say - 'the one'.“

“In my case, there were many 'the ones',” Boastful Loki says, mocking Classic's use of words. All other Lokis roll their eyes, “I actually feel like every person in the whole universe was made to be with me. I'm just that irresistible.” He smiles pleasantly to himself. Alligator Loki growls again.

“That's another “liar” from him to you, Boast,” Classic Loki nods his head towards Boastful, who only shakes his head and frowns.

“I had my fair share of men and women before I was taken,” Boastful says, “must have been the same for you, Loki.” He looks at him. “Asgard was truly a giving place.”

Loki chuckles, but looks away from his variants. “Oh, it was...” he says quietly, “it was.” His voice grows even more quiet. Young and Classic Loki exchange a look.

“Do tell us, your mischievousness.” Classic Loki urges him. Loki shoots him a nervous look, then he leans back into the sofa and sighs, his eyes strictly focused on his hands.

“I had plenty before I met... one,” he starts to say, “me and her share a past, and, it seems, a future as well. After New York, I am taken to Asgard, imprisoned, but she is there. I fake my death and rule over Asgard as Odin, and she's there. I help Thor destroy our evil sister--”

“Oh, she was a nasty one.” Boastful says, shaking his head. “We used to have a connection, but then she just... I don't even know.” He shrugs. Loki eyes him for a second before continuing.

“We destroyed Asgard, but saved its people, and saved her. We make for Midgard, and she's there with me.” Loki sighs, his eyes gloomy. “And then... Thanos attacks, destroys half, if not all our people, and...” he can't even speak further. His variants share a look, each having quite the correct guess for what could follow after that. Boastful drinks from his cup in an awkward manner. “But I feel like that's another life I lived. Or another me. I don't know, I feel so... disconnected from her, from what we had. Must be the TVA and this... void. And all that's happened, all I've learned about my future.” He sighs again.

“Meeting her again would be a wake-up call, no?” Boastful asks. Loki shrugs, a sad expression on his face.

“Rather a sign that you're real.” Classic Loki says with a wide, true smile. Loki looks to him as if looking at a mentor. “I often felt like the people I loved and the love I had for them, even if it was not reciprocated, were a reminder that I am real, I exist and I can feel all these things.”

Loki considers his words, and then nods along, finding a truth in them.

“After all, love and all other emotions are the human part in all of us.” Classic says. “And it isn't always bad to feel like a regular human being.” Loki can also find truth in those words. Love makes one feel alive, makes you feel like you're on the right path, found the right person, found your purpose. It doesn't always have to be glorious, it can be small, but nonetheless important to you.

“I used to think humans smaller than us, more pathetic and puny, but...” Loki shakes his head, “we, gods, are just the same, really.” He chuckles sadly. “Having quarrels over the stupidest things, being as imperfect as humans... Sometimes I even felt like I was too good, too perfect for something like true love, which is a pathetic emotion that makes you feel all kinds of other feelings, but...” he smiles, “often times I felt like that, she told me everyone was deserving of love, even me.” His smile grows wider.

“She sounds lovely.” Classic Loki tells him with a kind smile.

“She was that, and more.” Loki nods along. Young Loki imitates the sound of a snore and throws a crumpled piece of paper at Loki's shoulder.

“You're making me extremely bored.” He announces and sits straighter in his chair, looking over the mess that is his palace. “Love's boring.” Young Loki throws a juice carton across the room, making a face.

“You are just too young to understand and know it, your majesty.” Boastful says with a wink, and the next juice carton is flying over his head with a snicker from Young Loki. Classic Loki keeps Boastful tight in his seat so an argument wouldn't arise, and Boastful hesitantly restrains, his drink almost spilling over his cup. Loki watches them with a sappy smile on his features, and decides this is a good place to spend eternity at, even without her.

Permanent tag-list: @hallecarey1​​​​​​​​​  @gabiatthedisco​​​​​​​​​ @v0idbella​​​​​​​​​  @works-of-fanfiction​​​ ​​​​​​ @destiel-stucky4ever-loki-queen​​​​​​​​​ @ur-gunna-h8-ths​​​​​​​​​ @betweenloveandfire​​​​​​​​​ @but-legendsneverdie​​​​​​​​​  @deardeacy​​​​​​​​​ @thewinchesterchronicles​​​​​​​​​ @mavieesttriste16​​​​​​​​​ @intrrverted​​​​​​​​​ @the-freak-cassie-131​​​​​​​​​ @beverlyparkerr​​​​​​​​​ @gasbomb69​​​​​​​​​ @rottenstyx​​​​​​​​​  

let me know if you want to be added ! or maybe to a loki list !

[emotionallyits2009]

deancas fic rec list!

hello everyone! happy christmas to those who celebrate it, my gift to you is my fic rec list that i said i would make like a month ago. the only thing it is organized by is canonverse vs alternate universe. tried to cover a variety of subjects but there are in particular many fics of the genre “postcanon where cas is human and he and dean live together and slowly finally get their shit together” because i know what i’m about, son. HOPE U ENJOY. and if you wanna talk about any of them or rec me other fics please do. :) 

Canonverse:

where the weeds take root by deathbanjo, 30k, explicit “Are you happy? Y’know. Just—being here,” Dean says, gesturing to the yard with his beer bottle. “Being with—I mean, you used to fight in celestial wars and—and save the world. Now you’re growing vegetables and talking about chickens.” There are many fics set in a post-canon universe where Cas is human and he and Dean live together and slowly fall into a relationship. Imo this one is the best of the best of that genre. This was one of the first fics I read back in July when I was getting Back Into Supernatural where I was like oh fuck I’m like in this. Dean builds Cas planters and bookshelves and a chicken coop and they fight and work through it.

Cuckoo And Nest by komodobits, 10k, explicit For a long time, Castiel thought that every earthly possession other than the immediately necessary was excess to requirement. But Dean – Dean who named his car, who keeps a photograph of his mother in his wallet, some thirty-plus years after her death, who still has the crumpled ‘Do Not Disturb’ sign with a sleeping pelican emblazoned on it from the Microtel outside of Roanoke where he first kissed Castiel, clumsy and unsure, under the unsteady fluorescence of an exhausted bathroom bulb – is sentimental. It puzzles Castiel, where Dean draws the line between what is meaningful and what it is worthless. Really Gets the dynamic of Cas doesn’t think Dean wants him to stay/Dean thinks Cas will leave the first chance he gets. Also a nice example of Cas thinking he’s not wanted if he’s not useful/powerful and being told otherwise. Another all-time fave!

lonely hearts by outphastthemoat, 4.5k, gen He thinks he might give up having his own anything just to be able to step foot inside the room next door and sit on the edge of Dean’s bed instead. This one is for the CAS GIRLS who know what LONELINESS feels like.

Helionneiros by aeli_kindara, 24.2k, mature In which Dean visits his mother, and Claire takes Cas on a hunt. I’m always on the lookout for more fic with Claire and Jack. Jack doesn’t show up until the end here but the relationship between Cas and Claire is really nice.

Crawl by aeriallon, 11k, explicit It’s been almost four years since Castiel left Kansas; he'd eventually settled in an island town where he has a job, a house, and a life without the Winchesters. Every winter, Dean drives down to the coast to see him. Another fic where Cas is human but in this one he took some time for himself and got some distance from the Winchesters! He gets to be competent and weird as a human and we love that for him. I must warn you all that this fic contains one use of the phrase “making love” which would normally put me right off but it’s still worth reading. The first of a three-part series.

home where you hold me by microcomets, 1.6k, gen Cas and Dean, in the moments between their battles, ache for quiet spaces. Technically this is a coda to 10x20 but you don’t need the episode for context. Short and very sweet.

Build a Home by domesticadventures, 20.1k, teen After they save the world, Dean expects Cas to come back to the bunker with them. He doesn’t. This one is so cute it’s like what if once they were done saving the world Sam and Dean actually invited other hunters to move into the bunker with them. Obviously Dean wants that to include Cas but doesn’t know how to use his words.

the taste of gravel in the mouth by deathbanjo, 22.4k, explicit This is what Cas gave up Heaven for: greasy diner food, shitty motel rooms with even shittier cable, long car rides spent in complete silence except for the same six tapes playing over and over again, and a burnt-out husk of a man who can barely hold a conversation anymore. Angst fic! They go on a road trip and Dean is severely fucked up post-Mark of Cain.

Unknown Quantities by xylodemon, 8.6k, explicit No one ever tells Dean anything. Another nice getting-together fic.

Creature of Habit by trinityofone, 5.2k, teen The more you love someone, the more you want to kill them. Or: How Cas developed some bad habits, and Dean coped surprisingly well. This one is ancient by destiel standards (written during season 5) but it manages to nail the married couple vibes they give off in later seasons. Cas is a bitch and Dean likes him so much. <3

The (Mostly Accidental) Courtship of Dean Winchester by Tuesday, 11.2k, mature Angelic marriage rites were never intended to go quite like this. Another old one that is a lot of fun! They get Accidental Angel Married and if you don’t enjoy dumb fanfiction tropes like that I don’t know what to say to you.

Vena Amoris and Other Old-Fashioned Bullshit by pyrebi, 4k, teen In which angelic marriage bonds are apparently stupidly easy to trigger, Cas wages multidimensional war in Heaven, Dean can't catch a break like ever, Sam rather enjoys being a dick, love saves the day, and nobody consummates anything. The OTHER accidental angel marriage fic written in 2010. 

Crazy Diamonds by pantheon_of_discord, 24.8k, explicit A week ago, Dean was pulled out of Hell. Now, he’s apparently woken up in 2018, and the angel that a mere twenty-four hours beforehand had threatened to chuck him back into the pit is sleepily pouring himself coffee and wearing Dean’s second-favourite Zeppelin shirt. It all seems like a perfect happy ending, but with Hell’s scars still so fresh, Dean can’t imagine how he could have possibly gotten there. At the same time, the Dean who went to sleep in the bunker, right next to Cas, wakes up on Bobby’s couch in 2008. He’s instantly bombarded with questions by a Lilith-obsessed brother and a man who’s been dead for years, and must decide between keeping his finally-perfect life intact, and the lives he could save by re-writing history. Regardless of these choices, both Deans are trapped in the wrong decade, and their only way back lies with a Castiel still very much under Heaven’s thumb – one who might find the future Dean describes difficult to believe. Time travel is FUN. There’s an excellent part where (minor spoilers) future!Dean is like, “Guess what, asshole? You like me so much you marry me!!!!!!!!!!!” to 2008!Castiel that made me laugh out loud the first time I read it. Also just a good reminder of how most problems in life are temporary and if you could go back in time to talk to your younger self you’d be like, “Hey man. Chill out. You get through it.”

The Path of Fireflies by museaway, 63.7k, mature After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years. There’s a lot of amnesia fic and djinn fic out there were Dean wakes up ~suddenly together with Cas~ but I like this one in particular because he’s initially very confused and kind of a dick about it until he acknowledges that being with Cas makes him happy.

take the long way home by dothraki_shieldmaiden, 95k, explicit Three months ago, when Dean decided to retire, he thought his life was going to end up differently. He'd thought that he might get to have it all, Sam, Cas, Jack, and nice little place to live. Instead he gets Sam and Jack off on their Summer of Love Tour, radio silence from Cas, and a never-ending road trip consisting of himself. Still reeling from the loss of his grace, Castiel travels the country in search of hunts. Driven by a need to prove his usefulness, he pushes himself beyond all limits of endurance. Together, with the help of a few friends, a crumbling Victorian house, and a stray cat, Dean and Castiel patch themselves back together and create a home together. Do you wanna read almost one hundred thousand words of Dean and Cas having extremely intense feelings but refusing to voice them aloud? Haha of course you do that’s why you’re here. There’s also a lot about Cas adjusting to being human and being depressed about it which might resonate if you’ve ever felt weird about having a body. To be honest the author could stand to use a few more commas but there were also half a dozen moments that made me put my phone down and drag my hand slowly over my face and whisper “oh my god” to myself which is like, the ultimate measure of a good fanfiction so it gets to be on the list.

like moses and batman and james dean by saltyfeathers, 31.6k, explicit dean used to turn tricks. over a decade later, he met cas. Have you seen the fanon (apparently pioneered by Mr. Jackles “Original Deankin” Ackles himself) that Dean used to prostitute himself to feed himself and Sam when they were younger? Are you interested in exploring that concept in fanfiction? Well, this is the only fic you need. Mind the tags on this one! It’s not what I’d call happy but it’s good.

Some Assembly Required by narrow_staircases, 47k, mature It’s September of 2005, and Dean Winchester, in an attempt to outrun old mistakes and painful memories, finds himself in southern Kentucky on a wild goose chase. He’s completely certain this weird religious movement he’s “investigating” is a hoax, despite the miraculous healings people report, and he’ll be back on the road in a day or two. Things are looking up when he meets Cas, an awkward (and gorgeous) graduate student who’s actually doing honest-to-god research into the local tent revival meetings. When that research takes a weird and personal turn, Dean’s left to face two very serious realities: one, this may be a real case after all, and two, he’s fallen way harder for Cas than he should ever have let himself. Stanford-era AU of Dean trying to avoid his father and getting in over his head on a case.

Alternate universe:

And This, Your Living Kiss by opal_bullets, 57k, mature Only a very few people in the world know that the celebrated and reclusive poet Jack Allen is just Kansas mechanic Dean Winchester, a high school dropout with a few bucks to his name. Not that it matters anymore; life has left him so wrung out he never wants to pick up another pen. Until, that is, a string of coincidences leads Dean to auditing a poetry course with one Dr. Castiel Novak. The  professor is wildly intelligent, devastatingly handsome...and just so happens to be academia's foremost expert on the poetry of Jack Allen. Mundane AUs in this fandom have to be really, really good to catch my attention and this one is! It’s exactly what it says in the summary and the characterization is spot-on. 

Out to Drift by deathbanjo, 20.9k, mature Dean drives a black car with a loud engine. He lies too easily. He keeps a gun in the back of his jeans, and Castiel isn’t sure, but he wouldn’t be surprised if Dean has killed someone before. Two people in fucked-up unstable situations meeting and forming a connection. Honestly guys I really just love deathbanjo.

[remythologise]

You are the only person on my dash who is earnestly, truly enjoying the implications of a canon Destiel in its like...purest and best possible form. The way it COULD be. And honestly. Mad respect. I'm so happy for you.

It’s because I was actually watching the show (again, after many years)!!!! I am invested in these characters and this relationship and I totally get how seeing this happen out of nowhere with a three minute clip with - let’s be real - bad editing, cinematography and production values - makes people absolutely crazy with laughter. I get how people didn’t think about this show and then saw this out of nowhere and it seems like the dumbest most random thing ever. I get why it’s awful to think Cas has been killed off straight after confessing his love, I get all of the memes and find the ones that aren’t outright derisive very funny. But the thing is that for people watching this show who have been invested for years and aren’t ashamed of liking Supernatural because it’s ‘cringe’ (an arbitrary decision! I promise if you rewatch the show you’ll be swept along by your old emotions!) - this was a lot. It meant a lot. It would have taken a HELL of a lot to get even this much pushed through on notoriously conservative-leaning show Supernatural. And we still don’t know where the final pieces will fall because there are two episodes left, and EVERY SINGLE PERSON ON EARTH is dead in the next episode except for Sam, Dean and Jack. So thinking that Castiel’s death is narratively permanent is not necessarily true, particularly because there is a character we know is coming back who is also currently in the Empty and we think the Empty will be defeated before the end of the show. People don’t have these context cues for the plot, or production, or the emotional context of what it meant after YEARS AND YEARS and a damn long COVID hiatus - to see this go canon against absolutely every expectation.  And the other thing, I see most of the shots taken at Dean/Jensen’s reaction - we don’t know IF he reciprocates, because the whole arc of the series and the episode is about Dean being angry, Dean having nothing left (he believes) but anger, and the WHOLE POINT of this was to start to change how he perceives himself and find love instead of anger. Cas telling him he’s a lover, not a fighter, to wit. Having Dean react literally any other way to Cas suddenly confessing than how he did would be out of character because he IS repressed as hell, and doesn’t do well talking through something like this when he has seconds to process it. (And there have been hints Dean does feel romantically for Cas and is bi over the years. Let’s not forget among other things, Dean gave Cas a mixtape of the same songs that was key to his parents’ romance.) And yeah, maybe there’s no bisexual Dean revelations, and there’s no more Castiel. Maybe they could brush this off and Dean could never mention it and Cas could go full Bury Your Gays. I am fully aware of that possibility, trust me - we all know that Misha has been notably absent from 19/20 filming pics. But considering Robert Berens, a gay man, wrote this ep, and is fully aware of the trope... Considering they went THIS FAR to make a main character confess their love to another character at the end of the series... I’m not sure. Frankly I think both Dean and Cas will be dead by the end of the show and together in some form of an afterlife, but we’ll see. I mean, they hid this absolute bombshell from us... maybe they hid more surprises too.  Even if SPN goes the way everyone on the internet seems to think it goes though, I’m so happy that they made Cas canonically queer, in love with Dean, and retroactively wrote a love story into Supernatural. It means a lot, and no amount of people laughing at the memes about this can take away what it means to know Cas fell in love with Dean in season 4 (!!!!) and every SINGLE interaction can now canonically be seen in that way.  I guess at the end of the day, it felt pretty damn good for years of subtext to be brought into text and to not be a ‘delusional shipper’ anymore. Supernatural has been famously bad to its queer fans over the years, so this... this is far more than I ever expected. And yeah, I want Cas to come back, and for Dean to reciprocate. But I will celebrate this victory too.

[thisisapaige]

dean, sam, jack, and cas all meet up in heaven and have a holiday dinner and everyone is happy because TFW isn't happy enough

You're right! They aren't happy enough. If you follow me, I bet you won’t mind the Destiel. There’s a light bit of Saileen, too. Also, I decided to downplay the heaven angle a bit, so feel free to read it as an Everyone Lives AU. :) Word Count: 700. Have a prompt? My ask box is open.

"Alright. Weirdest hunt. Go." 

Yeah, Bobby was just trying to distract Dean from the fact that Bobby shaved but he'd be damned if it didn't work.

"That time I was a ghost," Jo said, reaching across the table for another helping of mashed potatoes. "Osiris? Really? Still can't believe that happened."

Dean handed Jo the gravy. "Wait. You remember that?"

Mouth full of potatoes, Jo mumbled a word that sounded like, "Yes."

"All of it," Kevin said. "Every single bit of it. The Word of God. The angels falling. And the frigging Leviathans. All of it. The guy called himself Dick."

Dean snorted. Yeah he did, didn't he?

Ellen stopped buttering her roll and stared at Sam. "Wait. Dick? Really?"

"Yeah," Sam said. "For real. We ended up killing him with a bloodied bone of a nun." 

Ash giggled from his corner. "He got boned."

Charlie high-fived Ash, giggling with him.

"I don't know," Bobby added, "I think the dragons were weirder."

Dean nearly spat out his wine. "Oh man, don't remind me."

"Dragons?" Rufus set down his fork. "Dragons. I come to this multi-faith non-denominational dinner that happens to fall on a certain holiday-- because I don't celebrate it, you see-- and you're telling me there are dragons."

"Not anymore," Cas said, nothing in front of him but a cup of coffee. "I suspect Dean killed the last one."

Dean tapped Cas on the shoulder. "I did?" At Cas's confirmation, Dean grinned. "Dude! I am the dragon slayer, bow down to me!"

The entire table groaned. 

Cas turned to Eileen, signing as he spoke, "Would you like to contribute to the 'weirdest hunt' conversation?"

Eileen put a finger to her lips, glanced at Sam sitting beside her and said, "Banshee. The last one. Because I met this long-haired weirdo and…" 

She trailed off, sharing one of those significant looks she had with Sam. It was adorable. It was also kind of gross. But, Dean didn't say anything because Sam endured over twelve years of those kinds of looks between Dean and Cas.

“Dodge City,” Jack said from his place at the head of the table once it quieted. 

“Dude. Dude!” Dean clapped his hands together. “I got to fight Dave freaking Mather.”

“It was only a ghoul who looked like Dave Mather,” Sam informed the group.

“Still man, so awesome.”

Jack nodded. “He really likes cowboys. He made Cas wear a cowboy hat.”

Jo snorted over her whiskey glass. “And you let him?”

Cas gave Dean one of those sweet, fond smiles that still made Dean's heart beat faster. “Yes. It was rather ridiculous. But I didn’t have my own set of boots.”

Dean nudged Cas with his foot under the table, cheeks heating. “Dude. Shut up.”

“I would not be opposed to you wearing them more often.” Cas calmly sipped his coffee-- the little shit-- while Dean squirmed in his seat. 

“Can you believe it?” Sam grumbled. “I thought it’d be finally over after you two finally got together but, no, you’re still gross.”

Dean was a mature, grown, adult hunter who defeated God, so he stuck his tongue out at Sam. Eileen snickered behind her hand when Sam returned the gesture. 

“Mom,” Dean said. “C’mon, defend me here.”

Mary hummed, pushing her empty plate away. “No.”

“Mom!”

Sam laughed. “She agrees with me!”

The rest of the table chimed in. All in the affirmative.

“Oh. Okay. I see how it is. It’s picking on Dean day.” Dean rested his head on Cas’s shoulder and gazed up at him. “What about you, sunshine? What’s your weirdest hunt?”

Instantly, Cas replied, “There was this one time I led an army of angels into Hell in order to raise the Righteous Man from perdition.”

He was so sincere. Every day-- every freaking day-- Dean was reminded about just how much his damn angel loved him. 

Dean raised his eyebrows. “You calling me a weirdo?”

“Yes,” Castiel said, taking Dean’s hand, “but you’re my weirdo.”

When Dean kissed Cas, the reaction from the table was a mix of groans and sighs. However, when Dean glanced at his family gathered all around, safe and happy, every single one of them was smiling. 

[gayhuckleberryinatrenchcoat]

You are my home💚💙

Happy Valentine’s Destiel Wedding Day everyone!

Part 2 of my Destiel wedding series.

Click here for the masterpost.

Thanks @bonchickabelle for your support

~2,8k words

“Are you nervous?” Sam teased Dean, who stood in front of the mirror, tugging his tie straight. He thought about it for a moment “Excited? Sure, can’t wait to see Cas again after you forced us to spend last night apart for some stupid tradition. Nervous? No. It’s Cas I’m marrying.” Sam smiled knowingly, already half out the door. “I’m very happy for you two!” Alone again, Dean’s eyes drifted back to the mirror and he placed his hand on his shoulder, right over Cas’ handprint. He meant what he had said to Sam. It had been the first night they had been apart since he got Cas back and he barely slept. He had just felt wrong without hearing Cas’ gentle breaths, without being able to wrap his arms around the former angel and without feeling the weight of Cas’ head on his chest. But was he nervous? Not at all. He was almost surprised at how calm he felt. He’d never been this sure about anything in his life. After today, he would never have to spend another night without Cas.

Everything was perfect. Everyone they knew had insisted on helping with the wedding in one way or another. Sam wanted to officiate them, he got his license as soon as he heard the happy news. Eileen had taken the grooms separately to shop for wedding suits, Jack had promised them a warm, sunny day and handmade the invitations with Claire. Jody and Donna had baked their wedding cake, Ellen and Jo contributed a dozen homemade pies, Bobby took care of the bar and the catering. Garth and Bess promised to capture the whole day on their cameras. Gabe offered to be their DJ and Ash took care of all the technical stuff. Rowena had promised them truly magical fireworks at night, while Crowley and Benny were in charge of the security, although that shouldn’t be necessary ever since Jack became god.

Charlie and Dorothy had not only offered their vast, beautiful property as their wedding venue, they had also taken care of the decorations. The ceremony was set to take place on the Southern side of their house. An aisle led through rows of white chairs up to a little lake in front of which they had placed a rectangular wooden arc, decorated with greenery and big white flowers that stood out brightly against the blue water in the background. The Western side of the house was already equipped with a big dance floor around which tables, a big buffet and a bar had been set up. To top it all off, Charly and Dorothy had hanged fairy lights in every single tree on their property, which would create a magical atmosphere at night.

Lost in thoughts, Dean adjusted the flower on his lapel and smiled at the mirror. He never thought that he – Dean fucking Winchester – would ever get married. And yet here he was. His phone buzzed and his smile became even wider as he saw who texted him.

[Cas 10:34] Dean?

[Dean 10:35] What’s up? Don’t tell me you’re getting cold feet now😉

[Cas 10:37] No, my feet are perfectly fine, why would they be cold?

Dean rolled his eyes, amused at his fiancé’s confusion.

[Dean 10:37] Not literally, that’s an expression for someone who has second thoughts on their wedding day. What’s going on?

[Cas 10:38] Oh. I see. I’m nervous that I might act weird because I don’t know all wedding customs. So I wanted to ask if you could maybe help me out when I’m about to make a fool out of myself.

[Dean 10:39] Sure thing, sunshine, but don’t worry about acting right, it’s your wedding day, all you have to do is enjoy it. And everybody here knows you’re a little weird😉

Without a knock, Charlie barged in. “What’s up bitch, you ready? Cause your fiancé is and he’s smokin’ hot.” She winked as she noticed Dean’s blushing cheeks. “Yeah, I’m ready. Where’s Bobby?” “Already waiting downstairs for you. I have to go, see you in a few”.  As quick as she had come, she disappeared again. Dean took another glance at the mirror to make sure everything was perfect before he left the room.

Downstairs Bobby and Ellen were laughing over a glass of scotch. When Bobby noticed Dean, he smiled and reached up to adjust his baseball cap, scoffing when he realized that he didn’t wear one today. “Lookin’ good” he grumbled. Ellen gave Bobby a quick peck on his cheek and winked at Dean as she went to take a seat. “I’m glad ya two idjits finally got the sticks out of your asses. Took ya long enough.” Dean chuckled nervously, his cheeks turning red again. “Thanks Bobby. Truth is I still don’t know how I got this lucky.” “Well, ya really deserve this, ya know? You’re a good man. He’s lucky to be with you. And I like him. Never seen you this happy.” After a pause he added “I’m very proud of you son.” Fumbling with the empty glass Ellen had left behind on the table in front of him, Dean replied “Bobby... Thank you. You’ve always been a father for me, unlike John, who... Anyways, thank you. For everything.” Dean swallowed, unable to put his love and gratitude for this man into words, but as he looked up at Bobby’s face, he caught him wiping over suspiciously wet eyes. “Idjit” he grunted, pulling Dean into a bone crushing hug. He nodded at the clock. “Ya ready? We gotta go.” “Ready” Dean replied, and he meant it. He was more than ready for this.

Or maybe he wasn’t. He was more than ready to marry Cas, but he wasn’t prepared for the sight of all his loved ones in one place, alive – thanks to Jack – gathered to celebrate with him. He always thought the only occasion where they’d all come together would be for his funeral, and he didn’t even expect that since most of them had been dead until a few months ago. Grateful and touched to see how many people where there because they loved him and Cas, Dean fought back some tears. While Garth’s kids waddled down the aisle, scattering white rose petals, Bobby squeezed Dean’s arm, as if he could sense all those thoughts whirling in his head. Dean nodded, linked their arms and let Bobby lead him down the aisle where Sammy already waited with a big grin and an even bigger stack of notes for his speech.

Back in the house, Charly gave Cas an encouraging smile and handed him a gorgeous bouquet of white and yellow flowers. “Thank you for leading me down the aisle, I was made aware that that would usually be the responsibility of one’s father...” “There’s nothing usual about this wedding..” Charly teased him. “Besides, you’ve been my bestie ever since we first met, of course I’m gonna walk you down the aisle!” She linked their arms. “Ready?” Cas nodded. “Ready...” Leaning in, he added with a proud smirk “...bestie”. The doors swung open and they stepped outside.

All heads turned around to see Cas, but he didn’t even notice. He was completely captivated by the sight of his fiancé, who let out a little gasp before breaking into a wide smile. His eyes made those cute crinkles that Cas loved so much and as he came closer, he could see a tear roll over Dean’s check. Usually, although Dean had become way more relaxed over the last months, Cas could always sense a lingering alertness in him. But now... he seemed completely at peace. Cas quickly blinked away some tears. He didn’t want anything to cloud his vision, he needed to preserve this image in his mind. His navy-blue suit combined with a simple black tie and a white flower on the lapel suited Dean incredibly well. He was beautiful and Cas’ heart skipped a beat at the thought that it was him who caused the pure adoration and happiness on Dean’s face.

Charlie led Cas towards him with excruciatingly slow steps. Dean could barely restrain himself from running towards them. Cas was indeed smoking hot in his black suit, the baby blue tie perfectly matching the color of his big, loving eyes. Their eyes locked and Cas smiled at him with his adorable alien head tilt. Dean took a deep breath in, smiling at his fiancé, whose eyes glistened suspiciously. Cas seemed completely awestruck, and Dean felt a little lightheaded like he always did when Cas looked at him like that... like he meant the world to him.

Charly placed Cas’ hand in Dean’s. “Hey handsome! Missed me last night?” Dean whispered with a wink. “Hello Dean. I missed you very much indeed”. Murmuring “Me too”, Dean softly leaned his forehead against Cas’. The grooms stood there for a moment with closed eyes and fond smiles on their faces, the longing for each other almost unbearable. Cas finally pulled away and stated softly: “You are incredibly beautiful”. He turned towards Sam. Dean blushed at the seriousness in Cas’ voice and slowly turned to face his brother as well, not without glancing at Cas’ concentrated face once more and shooting him a loving smile from the side. While Sam held his unsurprisingly deep and thoughtful speech, Cas slipped his hand into Dean’s, who squeezed it lightly in response.

When it was time to say their vows, Dean took Cas’ hands in his and started shakily: “So, uhm, I’d like to start if that’s okay. Cas – you’re my best friend. And you’re the love of my life. I never thought I’d ever say something like that, I didn’t exactly think love was in the cards for me. I never let anyone close. But you...” His furrowed brows softened, and he broke into a fond smile, adopting Cas’ little head tilt. “You immediately got to me – well, right after I stabbed you... Sorry for that, buddy.” He winked and Cas chuckled softly. Dean continued, his voice overflowing with love: “I love your weird, quirky personality. I love that you’re such an openhearted, adorable little dude and at the same time you’re brave, strong and one hell of a badass. You never stop surprising me. You have the most loving, pure and beautiful soul.” Dean’s voice started to crack. “You know me better than anyone, heck, you probably even know me better than I know myself. You looked into my soul and you love me for exactly who I am, which is the best gift you could have ever given me.” Firmly holding Cas’ gaze, he added seriously: “I promise to always love and support you unconditionally, in our human life together and beyond. I’ve been yours ever since you first laid a hand on me. And I swear I will be yours for all of eternity. I love you Cas, so damn much.”

Cas looked at him completely lovestruck, tears glistening in his eyes. In a low, gravelly voice he declared: “I never truly belonged anywhere. I never... functioned the way I was supposed to. And you made me realize that that’s okay. That freedom and free will were more preferable than being a brainwashed soldier of heaven. You gave me your friendship, you made me part of your family. You taught me to love.” He cupped Dean’s face, gently brushing his thumb over Dean’s freckled cheeks. Squinting his eyes in adoration at the miracle before him, he added: “You are the most perfect, selfless and loving human being I have ever known.” Tears started rolling down Dean’s cheeks, he still had a hard time accepting that someone – especially Cas – would think so highly of him. Receiving this praise in front of such a big audience made him blush. “Dean, you are my home. I love you. Forever.” He pressed a soft kiss on Dean’s forehead and wiped away his tears. Dean almost drowned in his loving eyes, completely overwhelmed with affection.

Claire and Jack came up to give them their rings. Claire handed Cas a ring and whispered: “Congrats Ca... Dad”. Cas froze up for a second, tilting his head, squinting his eyes, trying to understand if she really just meant that or if it had just slipped out on accident. When she gave him a shy confirming smile, he pulled her into a strong hug. Jack handed Dean a ring with a “Hello Dad” and a short hug, before tugging on Claire’s hand to pull her back to their seats. The almost married couple shared a confused look after what just happened, Dean opening his mouth to ask “Did they just call us..?” “I believe they did”, Cas replied happily.

Sam moved on with the ceremony and let them repeat some more promises to each other before posing the final question: “Do you, Castiel, take Dean Winchester as your lawfully wedded husband?” Cas answered earnestly “I do.” Sam turned to Dean to repeat his question: “Do you, Dean Winchester, take Castiel as your lawfully wedded husband?” Dean grinned widely, eyes crinkling around the edges: “Hell yeah, I do!” Sam asked them to exchange their rings to seal their bond and Cas took Dean’s hand gently in his. He slipped the ring on slowly, looking deeply into Dean’s beaming green eyes. Dean then slipped a ring onto Cas’ finger, his fingertips lingering longer than necessary. Sam finally pronounced them “...husband and husband. You may now kiss your groom!” Under the roaring cheers of their loved ones, Dean cupped Cas’ face while his husband pulled him close, arms wrapped around his waist. Their lips found each other easily, all of their adoration blooming into a chaste, soft kiss. Cas spontaneously bent Dean backwards, who gasped into his mouth in surprise, before letting himself fall into the strong embrace. Their kiss deepened, both too far gone to hear the excited cheers and whistles around them. It took them a while to gather the strength to break apart, foreheads resting against each other for one more moment before turning to the cheering crowd. Dean linked their hands and raised them up, as Sam exclaimed loudly: “I present to you Mr. and Mr. Winchester!”

The party afterwards was one for the books. Everyone had a blast and surprisingly enough, everyone got along perfectly, which wasn’t exactly a given on a party were hunters and supernatural beings came together. Donna’s and Jody’s wedding cake was mind-blowingly delicious. It was a white cake with three tiers and a figurine of the happy couple on top, wearing their trademark flannel and trenchcoat. When they cut the cake open, it revealed a colorful surprise. The top tier was colored like the bisexual pride flag. The second tier was chocolate-brown and the bottom tier looked like a rainbow flag. Dean insisted on feeding Cas with some cake and “accidentally” smeared frosting on Cas’ face. After he had kissed it away shamelessly, which earned them loud cheers and whistles from their guests, Dean pulled his husband onto the dance floor for their first dance.

They both didn’t exactly know how to dance, but it didn’t matter. They were just happy to feel the comforting warmth of their bodies against each other and melted into a tight embrace. As they were swaying gently, eyes closed and faces buried in each other’s necks, they didn’t realize that the first song had long blended into the next one. After a couple of songs, Dean opened his eyes for a moment, watching all the people he loved enjoy themselves. Jody and Donna slow-danced next to them and Eileen tried to teach Sam how to dance, hoping not to get her toes crushed. The brothers exchanged a big smile that said: “We’re so damn lucky”. Rowena stood at the DJ-table with Gabe, brushing a hand over his arm and whispering something in his ear. Crowley and Benny seemed to hit it off at the bar and Claire and Jack tried to teach Sonny some “tictoc-dance”, whatever that was, while Miracle excitedly jumped around their feet. Dean closed his eyes again and sank even deeper into the feeling of Cas’ arms wrapped around him.

The party carried on deep into the night, roaring rock classics long having replaced the quiet couple-dance music, everyone partying on the dance floor or sharing stories and laughs at the bar. As the newlyweds sat down to chat with Sam and Eileen over some drinks, Cas looked at his husband lovingly. He was overjoyed to see Dean beaming happily from being among all the people he loved, no danger in sight. As Dean caught Cas starring, he gave him a gentle peck and got up. He linked their hands as they strolled towards the lake, the party sounds fading into low background noises. They leaned up against each other, the reflections of stars and fairy lights glistening on the water as they held each other close in the cold night air. Dean nuzzled his nose into Cas’ hair and pressed a gentle kiss on his head. Cas turned to see Dean’s glowing eyes and pulled him into a long, achingly tender kiss. They were home.

[holycafe]

Dean felt flushed and nervous as he was passed the microphone. He’d had everyone’s eyes on him all day, and that had been bad enough, but this time felt different. Because now it was time for his speech, and speaking from the heart wasn’t always something Dean was good with. And he didn’t think he’d ever so much as tried it in public before.

But he wasn't going to let that hold him back tonight. He stood there beside the three-tiered cake – which, yes, okay, Dean wasn’t a huge fan of cake really; but this one did look pretty amazing, so props there – surrounded by all of his friends and family, and cleared his throat as he began to speak.

“You know, when I proposed to Cas, we weren’t exactly looking at going the whole big family wedding and reception kind of route. But none of you would let us run off to elope in Vegas in front of an Elvis impersonator, so here we are.” That joke had the added bonus of being 100% true.

Dean thought on the moment of the proposal fondly now; it had been early in the morning, only a few days after getting Cas back from the Empty. Dean hadn’t slept much that first week. Not because he and Cas were doing it like rabbits (though, yeah, that was kind of true too), but because he was just too happy to sleep. His mind refused the shut-off.

On this particular morning, Dean had been awake for hours, just watching Cas sleep. Watching the rise and fall of his chest, listening to the heavy sighs which escaped his lips, admiring the flutter of his eyelids and the occasional curve to his lips as he dreamt. They hadn’t put a name to what they were at that point, and Cas had been okay with that, but it had been bugging Dean. So, that morning, he just lay there and struggled to figure it out. And it was a struggle. Because ‘lover’ was technically true, but it felt too flippant. ‘Partner’ was too… stale. Dean didn’t like it. However, ‘boyfriend’ seemed too juvenile, seeing everything they had been through together.

But ‘husband’… that one felt right.

So, when Cas woke up, Dean immediately got down on one knee and popped the question. And after spending another couple of hours wrapped up together, they showered, packed some clothes, and went to invite Sam, and Mary, and whoever else was around that morning, to see them get hitched.

But his brother had then quite literally stolen the keys to the Impala to keep them from leaving. He’d spent the next few hours talking them into agreeing to this instead.

“Truthfully, I’m kinda glad that Sammy put his foot down about that, though,” Dean admitted. “As hunters, we get a bit too used to operating under the radar, but some things need to be celebrated. And when you got a man like Cas under your arm… you know, he’s worth showing off.”

Dean looked at Cas and winked.

“And today’s been pretty fun, actually,” continued lightheartedly. “Even better than that time I killed Hitler.”

Everyone in the room groaned; they’d probably heard that story enough now, but Dean wasn’t done telling it so who cared?

Though, today, it didn’t bring quite the same excitement as it normally did. Today, the only story Dean actually wanted to tell, the only one to bring a flutter to his chest, was the one about him and Cas.

Dean smiled wider and turned to look at him again, at his husband.

He reached out and took Cas’ hand, pulling him closer so he could get a better look at those beautiful blue eyes. Dean would have thought that, after all the time he’d lost staring into them, he would be fed up with it by now. He wasn’t. He never would be.

“But I mean it, I’m glad to be here with you now, Cas,” Dean admitted, his eyes tracing the smile on his husband’s lips. “I’m glad that we’re celebrating this, that we’re doing it the right way. I’m glad to have you by my side, and in my arms, and tell you all the sappy shit I’ve always wanted to. Like…” Dean had to pause to take a deep breath, feeling his emotions begin to claw at his throat. But he wanted to say this. He wanted to say it all. So, he just cleared his throat and continued. “Like how I’ve been in love with you for so long, that I don’t even remember what not loving you feels like.”

That received an aww from the guests surrounding them. Though, considering pretty much everyone here was a hunter, it was mostly in jest rather than sincerity. Dean ignored it. This moment wasn’t for them.

Cas was grinning up at him, his happiness sparkling in those beautiful eyes, and Dean wanted to just lean down and kiss him.

But he wasn’t done yet.

He had one last thing to say.

“We’ve only been together for a couple of months,” Dean continued, “but it already feels like I’ve spent a lifetime with you. And I’ll gladly spend a lifetime more.”

And now they could kiss. So, they did. Dean leant over into Cas’ embrace, meeting his lips, and pulling him all the closer.

They received several wolf whistles for their efforts.

When they pulled apart again, Dean glared at his guests for the interruption, and they all just laughed.

Cas didn’t bother to pull away as he took the microphone from Dean. He kept one arm wrapped around Dean’s waist at all times and stood so close that he was practically leaning his head on Dean’s shoulder.

“I met Dean when I pulled him out of Hell,” Cas started talking, addressing the crowd. “As far as ‘meet-cutes’ go –” he emphasised the words by making quotation gestures, made more awkward as he was holding the mic and refused to pull away to talk, and Dean rolled his eyes “– I’ve been informed that’s a rather good one.”

While everyone was laughing, Dean grinned. “We’re the best damn love story ever told, man.” He said it quietly, whispered it into Cas’ ear, so close that he brushed his nose against the hairs on Cas’ head. Obviously, no one else overheard him, but it wasn’t meant for them, only for Cas.

Cas grinned as he continued. “Before I first spoke to Dean, I spent much of my time feeling lost. I was… a good soldier, but not much more. I had brothers and sisters, I had a father, but I didn’t have a family until I met you,” Cas said, turning to face him, and Dean pressed a short kiss against his cheek. He loved his sappy little angel. “That was when my whole life changed.”

You changed me, Dean.

Dean’s heart clenched at the reminder of Cas’ last greatest goodbye speech. It was both beautiful and painful.

“From the moment that I first knew you, you filled my life with love.”

Everything you have ever done, you’ve done for love.

Dean almost wanted to tell him to stop. To tell him that he couldn’t hear this again. But he didn’t because perhaps that was exactly why Cas was saying it. The only other time that Cas had told him this, it had been moments before the Empty appeared and swallowed him up, taking him from Dean before he’d even had the time to process it.

But Cas didn’t want the words to sit with him like that; he wanted Dean to remember them in a different light.

So, when Cas paused, looking deep into his eyes as though asking for permission to continue, Dean nodded.

“Because that’s just the kind of man you are,” Cas said. “You’re caring, and thoughtful, and you are the most loving man I have ever met. Knowing you made me want to be a better person. Knowing you gave my whole existence meaning.

“For the past twelve years, I’ve fought by your side. I’ve fought heaven, and hell, and everything in between. I’ve chosen you over everyone and everything, again and again, Dean. And I will continue to do so for the rest of my life.”

“You’re a sappy son of a bitch, you know that, Buddy?” Dean said, finally feeling like he could breathe again.

“I’m aware,” Cas grinned. “I love you, Dean Winchester.”

This time, when they kissed, there were no taunts, only smiles and applause.

Extract taken from my latest destiel wedding fic ~ Chapel of Love by PiePrincess_andthe_FallenAngel.

I really liked paraphrasing the 15x18 confession scene here as it felt like Dean needed to hear it again, but in a happier moment. I hope you guys enjoyed it too

[erule]

Fireflies tonight

Title: Fireflies tonight

Pairing: Dean x Reader

Word Count: 600ish

Warnings: fluff

Summary: The reader throws a wonderful party for Dean’s birthday.

A/N: Hello hello! This is my gift for the fandom, in order to celebrate Dean’s birthday properly. I also wrote a Destiel story, if you prefer that pairing (you can check it out here). Happy birthday, Dean. You deserve the best.

If you wanna be tagged in my Dean Winchester fics, just let me know in my ask box! You can also find me on AO3 and Wattpad. Feedback is always appreciated by a writer! Enjoy!

Tags: @akshi8278  

Story under the cut!

It’s Dean’s birthday today and you’re really excited. You’ve been organizing this day for a month, thinking about what to bake, what to buy, what to wear, who you could have invited… But now, everything’s perfect.

You get up from the bed quietly, moving away Dean’s arm from your waist, so you can go straight to the kitchen. You begin to bake a pie for him, the only thing you still had to prepare for today. Once the pie’s done, you come back in your room and pick your outfit for the day. Then, you hear some footsteps behind you and you turn to see Dean rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand, sweet like a child, in his pajamas.

“Here comes my birthday boy!” you exclaim, throwing your hands around his neck. “Happy birthday, baby,” you say, pecking his lips.

“Thank you,” he replies, his voice still raspy because he just got up. “Do I smell pie on you?”

“This is just incredible,” you laugh in disbelief, moving away from him. “Come on, take a shower, get dressed and then meet me in the living room. Today’s your day, Dee. You’ll love the surprises.”

“I can’t wait to find them out, then,” he smirks at you.

Twenty minutes later, the room is full of people: Sam, Eileen, Castiel, Jack, Charlie, Donna, Jody, Claire and some other friends are there. You wanted this day to be unforgettable for Dean, you wanted to see him happy and surrounded by everyone who loves him, so you invited all of them basically. You’d do anything in order to see him smile.

“Happy birthday!” they all just shout, making you jump for the surprise, when Dean walks in.

“This is crazy,” he says, looking at all of them with a crooked smile. “Who planned this?” he asks, staring at you, like he already knows the answer. You feel your skin burning up.

“It seems like you’ve got a fairy godmother,” you reply.

“Oh sweetheart, trust me, I know fairies and they’re not as good as you,” he says, stretching out an arm in order to get you closer to him so he can give you a small kiss on the temple. “Do I see Rice Krispie treats on that table?”

“Hell yes, you do!”

“You’re incredible. Seriously,” he says, before he takes one.

And then, you basically spend the whole day laughing together. Jack and Claire explain to Cas how to play Monopoly; Eileen talks with Donna and Jody, making new friendships; Sam mocks Dean like they’re suddenly two teenagers again and you could swear you’ve never seen Dean smile in that way. His eyes sparkle, like he has diamonds in them. A lot of small stars that are born in one slice of time, molding new constellations at every second. He has never looked so good. It brings a sense of warmth in your chest. You really feel like you’re home and you hope he feels it too.

It’s night, when all of them go away and you remain with Dean outside, sitting on the hood of his car. You’re looking at the sky, remembering how bright were Dean’s eyes this morning.

“Fireflies,” you suddenly say, amazed, looking at some tiny lights that fly around you and Dean.

“They’re beautiful,” he says, “just like you.”

You turn to look at him, biting your lip.

“You’ve never been so cheesy like today, Winchester. What’s happening to you? Is the old age striking back?” you joke.

“Very funny, Y/N,” he replies, with a half smile. “No, it’s not that. I just realized that no one has ever done what you did for me today. Thank you. I mean it,” he says, looking at you through his eyelashes. You nod.

“My pleasure.”

Then, he wraps his arm around your shoulders, you rest your head on his shoulder and the two of you remain to look at the stars together until midnight. 

[zandracourt]

I’ve been reflecting a lot on Cas’ recent confession of love and the responses I’ve been seeing across tumblr and Twitter. As a Destiel fic writer, I am thrilled to see this become canon and as a queer woman, also really touched to see how much Misha has embraced this as a really significant thing. I already ordered my Only Love merch. So I’m content with it all as much as it is. SPN has never made queer representation its issue. SPN *has* responded to its fanbase, who have both pushed the importance of representation and also brought the actors into a realm of growth over queer issues that they may never have come to without this show and this fandom. For that reason, I don’t think it’s helpful to be mad at Jensen or the Showrunners for Destiel not being perfect. You don’t have to celebrate them as allies, but the anger and vitriol just doesn’t help, in my opinion.

BUT...where my thoughts have been going is around what it means to be an actor in a ‘ship and what the impact of the story has on the actors, the fandom, and the constant dance of who controls the story because I think this has been something that even with straight characters has had serious impacts on how fans feel about an ending.

My first fandom, Starsky & Hutch, was mostly written by a gay man who wrote “straight” characters because that was what they had to be in 1974. The characters and show plots were such that the actors felt the love underneath the words and acted accordingly. Back then, it wasn’t so much queer baiting as queer coding. I find it amazing that my parents never thought for a minute Starsky and Hutch were gay, but even as a 7 year old, I knew they were in love and saw them that way. And anyone who watches the show now, it’s so clear that it’s almost laughable. When their show won the Peopel’s Choice award in 1977, David Soul said in his acceptance speech that the best part of being on this show was that people saw two men who “could be anything”. He knew that queer folk read their characters as gay and that straight folks saw them as straight and he was happy for both to be true. While the show never had an explicitly romantic declaration, the characters held hands, hugged, and in the final episode, their final scene is Hutch crawling into Starsky’s hospital bed with him, something done with amusement, but was completely coded to mean something else. It was never “canon”, but the ‘ship has lasted 46 years with new fic being written even now.

In the new SW films, actor Oscar Isaac was not at all quiet about his feelings that his character, Poe Dameron, was in love with Finn. He stated he played him that way (and was not directed otherwise) and he even explicitly asked for that ship to be made canon. He was told no and that is not how the story ended. The romance plot was instead focused on two other characters. Some fans liked that. Many didn’t. In general, though, the story is open-ended enough that shippers could have Stormpilot be their ship and there is nothing that really contradicts that. In that scenario, Oscar had his sense of who this character was and felt strongly about that, but in the end, it wasn’t his story, so the ending was what it was.

Hawai’i Five-0 ended its 10 year run last spring. Actor Scott Caan said in an interview during the show’s 5-year mark that he wanted to see his charcter have a romantic story line with his other lead, Steve McGarrett. And while Scott did not go so far as Oscar Isaac did to say he made his acting choices based on that, watching him and Alex play their characters, there was definitely some intention to show their characters as loving one another. Actor Alex O’Loughlin voiced a few times over the years that he felt his character would not get back together with Catherine, a woman his character was on-again, off-again with, because he felt Steve had reached his limit with what Catherine had done to him. The series made a decision to end with Steve leaving Hawai’i behind and flying away with Catherine. Neither actor has commented much about the show’s ending, but clearly it went against what both actors had publicly expressed in the past. Again, they don’t control the story, but they do understand their characters after playing them for so many years and they are invested in that. In that sense, the actor’s subsequent silence about how the show ended says quite a bit. And McDanno fans were very unsatisfied with the show’s ending, myself included.

So we come to Destiel. Over the years, this ship has been very controversial in part because one actor (Misha) has clearly been OK with his character being perceived as being in love with Dean, while the other actor (Jensen) has not. At times he has been very negative about it, and that has been taken by some fans to imply how Jensen feels about homosexuality in general. I’m not convinced it does, but I understand why people feel that way. Over the 12 years since Cas’ introduction on the show, there clearly has been a shift from the writers and showrunners avoiding the topic entirely, to talking about it, and now to having Cas confess his feelings of love to Dean in canon. In the days since, Misha has been unequivocal in saying Cas is romantically in love with Dean and that he has played him that way, at least for this season and likely longer. Misha is proud that he was able to advocate for Cas to be gay and he clearly understands why it is important for the show to have made this choice. For Jensen’s part, however, he has stated he has not played Dean that way and from video clips of him talking about the show’s ending, it appears that he needed some convincing to accept this as the story. To his credit though, once he was convinced that this was something show creator (Eric Kripke) could envision as part of Dean’s character arc, he was on-board with this ending and feels statisfied with it. And I think some of the frustration folks feel stems from both in how the actors portrayed their characters and in which takes were chosen to be in the final cuts of episodes. In that way, the show has fed this ship, whether the actors realized it or not, and that is why Destiel has felt particularly painful at times. The fanbase has been gaslighted for seeing it at all (from actors and showrunners) while the directors have seemed to go out of their way to choose shots where the actor’s choices were more tender and affectionate and write lines where characters make explicit statements about Dean and Cas as romantic. I can’t help but wonder if Jensen really didn’t see Dean as being in love with Cas, but that we saw Jensen’s own affinity for Misha bleed through in their incredible chemsitry together or if Jensen has just been in denial of this ‘ship having teeth for his own personal reasons. I don’t know and so far, he hasn’t been willing to talk about that. Maybe he will once it’s over. Maybe he won’t and I’m not going to be angry with him for it. He’s an incredible actor and he’s lived this character for 15 years, so he has a right to who he believed Dean is and isn’t.

The issues of representation continue to be pressing and what I see happening with Destiel and these other ‘ships is exciting because it shows growth on all sides. We have audiences able to voice not only how they perceive characters without shame but can express a desire for characters to be together. None of that is new for straight characters, but it is for queer characters. We have actors who not only can see these same things, but feel enough ownership of their characters to expresss what they believe their characters would do or feel. And we have showrunners who are going to make their story, sometimes in response to feedback from their fans and actors, and sometimes in spite of it.

What Destiel becoming canon gives me hope for is that as new shows come into being, characters that take off, actors who have unexpected chemistry, and ‘ships that gain a life of their own, will lead to shows that are less inclined to care if those ships are queer or not and just go with what fans respond to. That it will normalize that people can (and do) come out an all different times of life, even after being het-married, having kids, or presenting as straight to everyone else for 40 years. That it will reflect that sometimes, it’s not about having been queer or straight from the beginning, but be about that ONE relationship that just is different, special, or grows into a deep love regardless of the genders of the people. I hope we can get to a place where deep intimacy between same-gender characters doesn’t have to be a war over romance vs. platonic and the story can just develop without the pressure of representation because queer characters will be so prevalent that we don’t have to feel like we must cling so tightly to every one we get. I hope we can come to a place where sometimes relationships don’t go romantic because one person (regardless of gender) just doesn’t feel that way, because that is very fucking true in real life. I want to watch shows where the sexual identity of any character doesn’t have to be etched in stone from the word go, never to change ever because that’s boring and limiting, and honestly, not real life.

I am deeply grateful for actors like Isaac, Caan, and Collins who are willing to see characters outside the heteronormative lens and to advocate for queer romantic arcs. I’m thankful to showrunners who are making shows with greater queer representation than ever before. And I’m grateful to actors like Ackles, who while it wasn’t who he thought his character was, was able to expand his view enough to go where the story was going to go. The arc of the universe does bend towards justice, and we will get there. Until then, there’s fic. And thank God for that.